Russian Emergency Humpday funnies

[89sr5]

Subject: Emergency in Russia


George Bush received a call from Russian President Putin. He says to
Bush "Our largest condom factory has exploded. My people's favorite form
of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American
people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,"
replied President Bush.

"I do need your help," said Putin. "Could you send 1,000,000 condoms
ASAP to tide us over?"

"Why certainly! I'll get right on it," said Bush.

"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Could the condoms
be red in color and at least 10" long and 2" in diameter?" said Putin.

"No problem," replied the President.

Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those
stupid Americans will fall for anything.

George Bush hung up and called the CEO of a condom company. "I need a
favor.
Can you send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia?"

"Consider it done," replied the CEO of the condom company.

"Good! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 2" in
diameter."

"You got it. Anything else?"

"Yeah," said the President, "Print

'MADE IN TEXAS, SIZE: SMALL' on each one!!!"

[Jason]

Hell yea!! lol

[89sr5]

MORE FUNNY STUFF

http://www.izpitera.ru/lj/tetka.swf


Try to drag her between two balls or let her fall face first on em!

[89sr5]

Subject: Sex Frogs for sale


beautiful and well endowed young blonde goes to
her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the
store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says:

"Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee!
Comes with complete instructions)."

The girl excitedly looks around to see if
anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter,
"I'll take one." The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the
instructions carefully." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is
quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment,
the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing
exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down on the
bed.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and,
to her surprise, nothing happens!

The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at
this point. She rereads the instructions and notices at the bottom
of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions,
please call the pet store." So, the lady calls the pet store.

The man says, "I had some complaints earlier
today. I'll be right over."

Within five minutes, the man is ringing her
doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done
everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there."

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the
frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm
only going to show you how to do this one more time!"




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